Posted on December 15, 2022 at 9:55 AM by Sadye Scott-Hainchek

It's a good morning for those who prefer silly literary awards to serious ones.

The Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest, which challenges participants to write the worst opening sentence to a novel they can imagine, has revealed its 2022 winner.

Here's John Farmer's winning entry:

“I knew she was trouble the second she walked into my 24-hour deli, laundromat, and detective agency, and after dropping a load of unmentionables in one of the heavy-duty machines (a mistake that would soon turn deadly) she turned to me, asking for two things: find her missing husband and make her a salami on rye with spicy mustard, breaking into tears when I told her I couldn’t help—I was fresh out of salami.”

According to the contest website, this sentence bested (worsted?) more than 5,000 other entries.

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